First
things first... major spoilers lie ahead! Return
to Collinwood is an incredibly frustrating experience.
There is so much wrong with this audio drama that when it
gets things right, you keep on hoping it's going to stay on
the right track. Then it goes off the rails again and you
can only dream of what might have been.
I
call this review spoiler heavy because it reveals the "ending"
of Return to Collinwood. However, there is no ending.
Events are put into motion, there are some revelations and
hints of revelations and then the damn thing just stops. Interesting
characters (Jessica, Mrs. Franklin) are introduced and just
vanish from the story. Uninteresting characters (Doctor Harper,
Violet) are also introduced, and the drama ends with them
still hanging around, their actions not having advanced the
story one iota.
There
is still a lot to enjoy in Return to Collinwood. John
Karlen, Nancy Barrett, Lara Parker, Marie Wallace and Donna
Wandrey are terrific. Karlen is paired with Marie Wallace
as Willie's wife, Jessica, and her warm, earthy personality
strikes sparks off Willie's cantankerousness. There is a scene
where Elizabeth's will is read aloud by the cast, passed from
character to character, and when Nancy Barrett reads her section
it is heartbreaking. Liz reveals that Victoria Winters was
her daughter. Nancy Barrett reacts to this news with a totally
believable outpouring of grief. John Karlen reading Willie's
section of the will is equally affecting. I found myself wishing
that Barrett and Karlen were the only will readers. They bring
so much genuine emotion to their lines.
As
our chief baddies, Lara Parker and Donna Wandrey are so wicked
it's delightful. Angelique's laugh is thrilling to hear and
Donna Wandrey as the Mrs. Danvers-esque housekeeper, Mrs.
Franklin, is suitably menacing. In fact, both performers are
so good that I overlooked their unmotivated characters. Why
does Angelique go to such elaborate machinations to get a
small cottage on the Collinwood estate? Where did this great
lust for Quentin spring from? Why hasn't Mrs. Franklin been
fired as yet? She won't even call Carolyn by her married name,
for Pete's sake! You would think that after being terrorized
by Mrs. Franklin and Angelique in rapid succession, that Maggie
would have a word with Carolyn about seeing them off the estate!
The
premise of Return to Collinwood is solid, it's just
the execution that is so disappointing. Our cast has gathered
at Collinwood for the reading of Elizabeth's will. What should
have been an exciting reunion is just a mess. Considering
this is a reunion, there are too many key characters missing.
The plot hinges on so many characters who are not present,
I felt like I'm only getting half the story. I felt like everyone
was talking about a bigger story than the one I got. Elizabeth,
Roger, Barnabas, David, Julia and Victoria are integral to
the plot but are not in the story! Instead we get several
characters who serve no plot purpose.
Doctor
Harper is a quipping non-entity, stonily enacted by the usually
reliable James Storm. The pairing of Carolyn with Ned Stuart
is ridiculous. Two characters who never had any previous romantic
interest in each other are now in love and married? On Dark
Shadows, Ned Stuart was rude and nasty. Why even bother
calling him Ned Stuart, when if you read the character bio
in the liner notes, he's a totally different character?
Chris
Pennock is wasted as Sebastian Shaw, now reduced to a mindless
servant of Angelique. He gets very little to do and what he
does say is nonsense. "I am the arm of my mistress!"
Has Jamison Selby been watching Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with
Me? Perhaps he has also been reading The DaVinci Code.
Violet has an out-of-left-field speech about David uncovering
something that could upset all sorts of pre-conceived notions…
off camera, of course, in Peru!
Violet
is also problematic. There is nothing to her character except
her mentioning of the Chavez family coming "…from
far away." Perhaps Violet was a last minute substitution,
to replace the Laura-esque character that was intended to
be played by Diana Millay? A phoenix is definitely more "far
away" than a family of servants. There is a peculiar
emphasis placed on the name Chavez that would sound better
placed on Radcliffe or Stockbridge…
Despite
all these flaws Return to Collinwood could have still
been utterly wonderful if it had an actual story. After the
séance scene in Act One, Angelique is set up to be
the evil mastermind of the story. Act One ends with Sebastian
Shaw attacking Jessica Loomis. At the end of the first CD,
I was disappointed with some parts but overall I was looking
forward to disc two. I expected that Sebastian would kill
Jessica. A grief-stricken Willie would team up with the Collins
family to defeat Angelique once and for all. It would be moving
and thrilling.
What
I got was a bit of a damp squib. Jessica turns out to be okay
and we never hear from the delightful Marie Wallace again.
Angelique's grand scheme seems to consist of having dinner
with Quentin and living in Seaview Cottage. The stories of
David and Vicki are left unresolved. We fade out on Quentin
and Maggie having a corny heart to heart where it looks like
Quentin is going to tell Maggie all his secrets… and
that's it.
If
Return to Collinwood was the first in a series of Dark
Shadows audio dramas, this just might work. It is a good
set-up of characters and situations. By itself, sadly, there
is no conclusion, no dramatic summing up. This is inexcusable.
Return to Collinwood should have been written as a
standalone drama with subplots and characters that could
have led to follow up stories. What we get is essentially
a Part One with no sign of a Part Two. I was left thinking
that this was a rushed and poorly conceived project.
I'm
sure lots of fans will buy it. After all, there is no new
Dark Shadows to enjoy. But just because they buy it,
that doesn't mean it's an artistic success.
Return
to Collinwood is available from MPI
Home Video
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